Anger; Control; Pride; Humility; Peace.

Anger is an area of my life where I have always struggled and sensed the Holy Spirit continually with Her finger twisting in my side. As a child I would become enraged at my unfair sisters. As a teacher I have directed my anger at disrespectful students. As a commuter I have fumed at ungracious drivers. As a father I have unleashed my wrath towards my slothful children. As a husband I have been cross with my indifferent wife. As a professional I have expressed my outrage when my coworkers are unprofessional. Etc. . .

I have had many occasions to reflect on this emotion and I have come to several conclusions:

When I was in Guatemala I led the distribution of efficient wood cooking stoves that were donated by some Canadians. These stoves reduced the amount of wood you would need and remove the smoke from homes where people were cooking over open fires. The first distribution was to about 30 families and these families were selected by another member of our team, a Guatemalan. I ensured that the recipients attended the training, I helped with the installation, I collected the money the families contributed to the stoves, and finally I sent thank you notes and photos to the donors. Through out this process I was struck by the fact that half of the recipients were close friends of the person selecting the families and that many of these families were not going to be using the stoves as their primary stove, but rather as an outdoor bbq - in other words, they were families with enough means to have gas stoves in their homes. I was incensed that we were dishonouring the donors and preventing people who really needed a stove from getting one. Unfortunately, once my dismay was expressed, I was told that I was being insubordinate. I wonder if I would have been labelled that if I had been able to contain my anger.

I remember becoming quite enraged at a couple grade 8 boys during my first year teaching. It was one of the last days of class and I was showing a fun movie during a multi-media options class. These boys weren't interested in the movie so they were talking to each other quite loudly making it difficult for their classmates to even hear the film. I asked the nicely several times to stop talking and finally yelled at them and kicked them out of the class... prompting a meeting with their parents where I was the one apologizing.

My children are wonderful, patient, kindhearted and sometimes absentminded kids. When they are sent to bed, they know what to do: brush their teeth, go to the bathroom, get their PJs on and then they are tucked in with a prayer. My daughter has a really hard time focusing on getting her PJs on sometimes. She will go to her room and just sit on her bed for five minutes. This can cast a cloud of ire over me and I have a very hard time asking her pick up the pace, especially when she denies that she isn't going at a fair pace. 

I get angry when I don't have control over a situation or over people. The problem is that in many instances, I don't really have the right to have control over those people. One of my favourite sermons is one by my current pastor on the very subject of anger. He related a story from the previous week where he became very impatient with his wife while he was writing his sermon on anger. Of course he was immediately convicted by the arrogance the he was demonstrating towards his wife - what right did he have to cast judgement on the actions of his wife? This stuck with me.

When I consider how Christ has dealt with our ineptitudes through humility, patience and sacrifice, I am convicted at how slow I am to be humble, patient and inconvenienced by others ineptitudes.

Oh, and my principal's name is Mr. Anger. An ever present reminder of possibility.

Brian Townsend

My friend Brian was murdered in his home on Christmas Eve in Belize.

My father was among the early mission workers to work with Brian in the Valley of Peace, a refugee settlement. I knew Brian first as the father of my good friends Mandy, Robbie and Kory. I knew Brian second as an always smiling leader in the SDA Alberta Men's Ministry. I worked with him on a couple events and had supper in his home a couple times too.

Having witnessed first hand the kind of violence that is so prolific in Guatemala, I am crushed to hear how he was murdered. Nothing is certain, but the police have been piecing stories together. From accounts, he was attacked in his home by two people, stabbed, dragged to his vehicle, thrown into a river where he was discovered in Guatemala a couple days later. His body has been positively identified.



This is the last time I saw Brian. We were on a return trip from Mexico to Guatemala and we stopped in south of Valley of Peace to have supper with Brian and a team from Alberta - it was the night of the Superbowl when the Giants made that huge comeback, January 2008. It was great to catch up with him, even though emotionally he wasn't himself.

My favourite memory of Brian is at a Men's Retreat he led in Bowden. I was there to lead worship for the weekend and despite the fact that I had a different song picked out as the theme song, he had me lead "Shout to the Lord" a dozen times. His brother Charlie was leading worship with me. I saw tears in his eyes many times that weekend as he sang that song. In fact I think of him everytime I hear "Shout to the Lord." He had a big heart, but more, he wasn't satisfied with the status quo so he was always doing something to try and change things.

Just a note on the perpetrators of the crime. I don't have any love in my heart for them right now, but I think it's important to note how justice works in Central America. There is very little judicial satisfaction. Despite high murder rates, there are very few investigations and even fewer convictions. The nationals know this and often take matters into their own hands. Mob killings/beatings are common. If the suspects ever return to Valley of Peace, there is a chance the community would seek retribution. We can pray that justice comes, but that it does not further spiritually impoverish the community Brian worked to enrich.

Rest in Peace, Brian. I look forward to seeing you tell the angel choirs to sing the songs he wants.



A fund is being collected to support Brian's son's trip to Belize to search for his father. Donations can be made here.

Brian will be missed by countless people, especially those with whom he was living in Belize.

Treats from Guatemala

When my school's short term mission group returned from Tactic, Guatemala a couple weeks ago, they transported some gifts sent by very special friends. It's amazing how taste and smell can transport one so intensely to distant memories.

In our package, we got chirrepeco tea (grown locally), some horchata drink powder (Tang brand), Tortix lime flavoured corn chips (everything is flavoured lime in Central America), a brick of chocolate to make hot chocolate Guatemalan style, and then my vice-principal gave me a couple pounds of Dieseldorff coffee from Cobán - sooooo goooood.

Thanks!!

Rain=Peace

It's raining now. Pretty hard. I hear it through my school ceiling as my calculus students write their last chapter test. As I listen to it, a wave of peace comes over me and I wonder why. Now I remember. When we were in Guatemala, the constant awareness that our security was never sure weighed heavy on me; whether it was the threat of theft or assault, it was always there. Except when it rained. I felt safe behind the noise of loud rain on my roof because I didn't think a thief would venture out in such a downpour.

Though, it was a false security because it was the perfect time to strike. The audio levels were so high during a storm that a thief could probably smash through a lock or break a window without the residents hearing the ruckus.

Regardless, I still enjoy the peace that comes with rain.

Biblically, rain symbolized security: the crops would succeed. In Canada, rain reduces the risk of forest fire so fire bans are lifted.

(Plus it means it's not snowing.)

2001-2010 Decade in Review

2001: Shave my head for the first time, work as a youth pastor at Red Willow Community Church in St Albert AB (Events: Just Shoot Me, Gerta's Eclipse, and fall retreat in Nordegg), canoe the Mackenzie River in NT, camp at Elk Island National Park, attend plays at the Citadel Theatre, travel to Halifax NS for Peter's wedding and Cormier Village NB after a 7 year absence, wake up to news of attack on twin towers on radio, spend Christmas in Smithers BC.

2002: Amber graduates from U of A, church trip to Guatemala and touring afterward, Pépère passes away, continue pastoring at Red Willow leading prayer meetings, leading worship with Kurt and getting kids to YC, substitute teach and then teach language arts and media part time for Edmonton Public Schools, camp at Elk Island, travel to Hope BC for Tey's wedding and Moscow ID for Bethany's wedding, Christmas in Lacombe AB.

2003: Finish my first year teaching at Winterburn School, Amber teaches for six months in Calgary, taken temporarily by Quixtar, cycle across Canada (5858 km) with 8 friends/family, move to Montreal QC and teach science and math at Greaves Adventist Academy, attend the Lord of the Rings trilogy screening at the Paramount Montreal, spend Christmas in NB.

2004: Travel to VT, CT, MA, and NY in the spring, sponsor school yearbook, begin Zaakistan blog, eat very well at various parties in Montreal, run through NDG, friend Stephanie passes away, teach summer session, buy first iPod, drive across North America with stops in NB, MI, WI, and SK, move to Spruce Grove AB to teach music, band and math at Living Waters Christian Academy, impregnate Amber, take Spanish classes, put on school Chrismas concert, host family Christmas.

2005: Put on school spring concert at LWCA, mail out support letters to work in Guatemala, Amber gets huge, enjoy 4 couples friends meals, begin playing Settlers of Catan, Blaise is born, pack up and move to Red Deer, travel with baby to Hazelton BC, Squamish BC, Moscow ID, Montreal QC, Cormier Village NB, move to Tactic Guatemala with Impact Ministries to manage the child sponsorship program, produce promotional material, and guide short term teams, deliver relief supplies to Lake Atitlan following landslide devastation, sell Ester Buck, buy Kia Rio, travel to Fray Bartolomé de las Casas, Antigua, and Copán Honduras.

2006: New school opens in Chicoy, we are robbed while at church, move to house at KM 185, complete first film, turn 30 years of age, visited by Saison, Mom, Papa and Red Willow team, travel to El Salvador, Honduras, Lake Atitlan and Tikal, hike the falls at Chilascó and Pacaya volcano, produce promo video, database, website and slideshows for Impact Ministries, listen to Stanley Cup Edmonton Oiler playoff run online, Amber gets pregnant, screen Strength and Honour: Cycling Canada Coast to Coast at the Montreal International Film Festival, travel to Montreal QC, Cormier Village NB, then Christmas in AB and BC with family.

2007: Two new schools open in Purulhá and Mocohan, we achieve Guatemalan residency, deliver and install 90 ONIL stoves, endure 2 month cough, Acadia is born at home, visited by Will and LWCA team, hike up Purulhá mountain, continue to produce promo videos, guide teams and manage sponsorship program, buy and care for goats with René, join Facebook, Tactic is flooded, take course from Chalmers, deliver 640 pairs of shoes, April spends Christmas with us.

2008: Drive through Petén, Belize, and Quintana Roo to spend holiday with family in Playa del Carmen Mexico, visited by Salomé, Shane, Peter, Red Willow team, Alan and Justin, cycle to Salamá with Garth and Walter, travel to Rabinal, back country near Tactic and with group of friends to Rio Dulce, receive interviews with World Vision Mali and Bearspaw Christian School Calgary, move to AB, buy car and home, niece Abigail and nephew Kai are born, travel to Smithers and Hazelton BC for weddings, teach Bible, Spanish, PE and media at BCS, Amber's sisters live with us.

2009: Begin attending New Hope Church, continue teaching at BCS with math added to the subjects, drywall the basement, spend summer holidays in NB, NS, PEI, BC and AB, buy year passes to Calgary Zoo, attend Leonard Cohen and U2 concerts, start small group, Kylik, Alanna and Indigo winter with us, endure -58 C (with wind chill) in Edmonton, host big family Christmas.

2010: Join Whiskeyjack/Dragonfly Cohousing, begin playing Stone Age, attend Pastor John's book meetings, host Amber's family visit, watch the Vancouver Olympics, Camp with family in Rocky Mountain House, travel to Smithers BC, speak at Katepwa Baptist Camp in SK, celebrate 10 year wedding anniversary in Waterton Lakes National Park, attend several amazing concerts, start teaching Calculus and stop teaching Spanish, cycle to work, April visits from Syria, spend Christmas in Edmonton with my family.

I praise the faithful and ever present God for this blessed decade.

"In Your Hands" - Charlie Winston

I got into my car this morning and CBC Radio 2 lit up ". . . this is the most requested song on Radio 2 right now . . ." and the best song I've heard in ages faded into huge sound. This is Charlie Winston (sign up for the newsletter and get a free download of this song):

Charlie Winston - In Your Hands (official video)
Uploaded by ATMOSPHERIQUES. - Explore more music videos.

The song recalls migrant workers - those who would leave their families to work in foreign lands. In Guatemala, I saw the damage this does to families as some parents worked in other parts of the country, in Mexico on plantations or as truck drivers or as illegal workers in the United States. I've also heard countless tales of fathers leaving their families in Georgia (in Asia) to work in Russia or from North Africa to work in Europe.

There is a level of desperation that is beautifully captured by this great song.

Adjustment

Upon my return to Canada, I find myself marveling at how easily I am able to adjust to my new life (mind you, I'm not working yet).

The traffic is regulated by laws.
The internet is lightning fast.

The electricity doesn't blink off.
It is dead quiet at night (and mostly during the day too).

I can use my credit card everywhere - so no cash in my pockets.

DVDs can now be purchased as low as $3 in bargain bins.

I can drink beer and wine (in moderation of course).

There are no bugs in my bed.

There is hot water in the taps.

I can flush toilet paper down the toilet.

The public library offers thousands of books and hundreds of movies on loan for free.

I can check out groceries by myself at Save-On Foods.
Not having to have my guard up against theft.

The sky is huge.

There is a dishwasher in our house.

My shower has pressure.

The post office has regular and frequent hours of operation.

The radio stations offer a wide array of music and news items.

My family can call me on their first try dialing.

The local movie theatre has films in English.

We have grass on our front lawn.

The fresh fruit can be bought easily without bruises and rot.

Everything has price tags.

Now, having said that, there are a few things that I really miss about Guatemala (aside from really missing my friends).

The opportunity to build a relationship with almost everyone you buy from (from the gas jockey to the chafa salesman).

Bargaining prices down if I felt so inclined.

Not being conscious or fearful of ever getting a speeding ticket.

Cheap and tasty street food.

The gorgeous mountains and greenery.

Being able to practice my Spanish and the challenge to learn on a daily basis.

The friendliness of everyone I met.

Home; Away From Home

My final week in Tactic involved attending 6 meals at people's homes, a farewell service after church, 3 days of medical clinic where we served over 400 people, many errands and sales, and my first soccer game. Far too many feelings and occurrences to record here.

We flew in to Edmonton on Friday night with over 460 lbs of luggage. We flew over bright yellow canola fields and around thunderstorms before landing and meeting my sister and bro-in-law. As we pulled out onto the highway, bright rainbows had settled onto Leduc and Nisku.

My son turned 3 today. We left Canada when he was 2 1/2 months old.

Mr. Miguel is talking to you

Every other night I get a phone call from the owner of the greenhouses next to our house. I have this guy's number in my phone so I know before I pick up that it's him. The conversation is the same every single time:

Zaak: Good evening Miguel.
Miguel: Mr. Miguel is talking to you.
Zaak: Hi Miguel. I can lock the gate tonight.
Miguel: Can you lock the gate for me tonight?
Zaak: Yes, I can.
Miguel: Would you do me the favour?
Zaak: Certainly. Yes.
Miguel: Well, thank you.
Zaak: No problem. Good night.
Miguel: Same to you.

The funniest thing isn't only that it takes forever for this conversation to happen. It's that he talks so slow! "Le haaaaaa-bla Donnnnnnn Mi-guelllll."

Rio Dulce; Three Days

Along with these friends we took a 3-day road trip to the east. Our initial plan was to take a 6-hour gravel road, but a bridge washed out in the middle of it, so we took the 4 1/2 hour paved one.

DAY 1

On our way to Rio Dulce we stopped at the ruins in Quirigua. One of the stone carvings is portrayed on the 10 cent coin. The park is quite beautiful with a large field with massive stelas rising from the earth.



The ruins date back about 1200 years on average and they include a ball court and several ceiba (the national tree).



There is a jade museum at the entrance and this little idol reminded me of Donnie Darko's rabbit.



The ruins are just 6 km off the highway through a Dole banana plantation.



Our family stayed at the Tortugal marina and hotel right on the Rio Dulce which connects Lago Izabal and the Caribbean. It's a very inexpensive place to stay with a great restaurant. The only access is by boat taxi or on foot from town. We stayed in an isolated bungalow where the kids could run around naked.

The water is incredibly warm and there is some terrific swimming at the hotel, just not shallow water for the kids.



The Tortugal has a large library. This book was in our room (the title had me laughing all weekend) (the title has something to do with pupate state, but the book was on government). I stuck to 2006 issue of The New Yorker. Read a great article on Deep Springs College in California - very independent of thought where half the learning is on the ranch and the other half in the classroom (at the ranch).

DAY 2


We headed out to Puerto Barrios, one of the three major ports in Guatemala and the only one on the Atlantic side. We hired a boat (after some severe bargaining) to take us to Livingston and Punta de Palma.



Amber and I had been to Livingston before and there wasn't much desire to return; it's just tourist shops, drug pushers, and hair braiders. We had lunch there and hung out until the rest of our crew was ready to go to the beach.



Punta de Palma is just 10 minutes away by boat from Puerto Barrios (a gross port city), but it's a gorgeous beach with calm, warm, shallow water. The kids loved it and so did I. A real change from cold Tactic.

Day 3


The Castillo de San Felipe was built in the 1500's to protect Spanish trading posts in Lago Izabal from English and Dutch pirates. We could see the castle from our hotel. We spent our last morning of the holiday walking around the site and then hanging out on the shore of the Lake. Along the walk to the castle, we passed a cinnamon tree and an allspice tree. The leaves smelled delicious. It is a beautiful place!

Bushwacking

On Monday morning, dudes from my church gathered together on the new church property wielding machetes. We tore through the back part of the land that descends on a creek and a spring. We had to make a path for surveyers who are coming next week to do up plans for new construction.



We killed a lot of plants. A lot. There were another dozen guys that climbed the hill before I took this photo. We cut around coffee plants and larger trees. We ran into some wild rhubarb too. The guys said it took away thirst.

Someone behind me even killed a water pipe. I got all wet in the process.



The guys kept asking me if I was tired after an hour. I wasn't tired, but my hand was sore. They would say, "it's probably your machete that 's tired," and then they would lend me their file. Despite my best efforts (which didn't include wearing gloves, because no one else was wearing gloves), I got a hand full of blisters and scratches.

from Chitzujay to Cuyquel

I've installed my last stove. The owners asked me in December to hold delivery until their new house was built (I delivered my second to last stove in May for the same reason). Their house is in Chitzujay, Cobán - up over the mountain to the north for 30 minutes of back roads.

The drive was pretty insane. I had Impact Ministries' Toyota van with the stove, Blaise, and 5 people from the family in the back. Switchbacks with washed out cement tracks on the steep parts were freakier than the cliffs.



Blaise was a real trooper. The kids loved him and he played with them really well. They gave him a green short and fat banana and some sugar cane. I got a cola.

I worked with the father to set up the stove. We had to build a 6-inch dirt platform for the stove because the stove pipe wasn't long enough to reach the high ceiling. The family is Q'eqchí and the mom doesn't speak a lick of Spanish so it took a while to explain how to care for and use the stove.



On the drive back to Tactic we could see the landmark church in Chi-Ixim to the south of us. The church towers high above our town.



Later the same day, I took Amber with me to get a photo I needed to send to a donor. From Cuyquel, we could see the same church in Chi-Ixim to the west of us.



It was nice for Amber and I to get away - thanks to Jess for looking after our napping babies. After a terribly bumpy drive that Amber had to weigh the back of the van down just to get up some climbs, we had a 20 minute walk down and up and down a street and some corn fields. The recipient family wasn't home, but I got a picture of their house construction.

The Dam of Chixoy

Last weekend we drove the half hour to the hydro-electric dam in Chixoy. We brought our friends, Hector and Ericka along as they had never been either.

The road goes down and down and down into a valley. After about 20 minutes of driving in the heat we pulled up to some men walking and asked how much longer it was and they said the dam was one hour away. We gasped. Hector asked if it took an hour by car. "Oh, no, by car only 15 minutes."



The sight of the dam is quite breathtaking. It reminded me of the fortress at Helm's Deep in The Lord of the Rings. Arriving at a security gate, the guard asked us if we had permission. I asked what that meant. He said we should have asked for permission an hours round trip away from an engineer who would give us written permission to visit the dam.

We didn't have this. Hector and I were certain we could convince this man with a bit of money that we weren't going to terrorize the dam and that his supervisors wouldn't be visiting as it was a Saturday. After 15 minutes of chatting with him, no dice.

There is a road that winds up the side of the mountain next to the dam and then through the mountain in a tunnel that takes you to the other side to see the lake and the hydroelectric plant. We weren't permitted to go there.



He did let us cross the gate and hang out by the river where some boys and men were fishing for tiny fish. Hector says they are good fried with tortilla. We skipped stones and enjoyed the view of the back of the dam.

Then we went up, up and up, back home.

Anecdote

Yesterday, as I was giving Julie, a fellow missionary, a ride home in the rain, she told me that she was told one of her letters was hanging on a bulletin board outside the post office. I asked if she had gotten it yet. She hadn´t. So we went to get it.

When we arrived and the post office was closed. Sure enough, there was an envelope addressed to her stapled along with another letter to a bulletin board as an example of what a letter looks like. We ripped out the 6 staples and I took her home. It was from her pen pal and had arrived in Guatemala back in January.

Ruth, our neighbour who discovered the letter, had asked the postal worker if the person the letter was addressed to knew the letter was stapled to the bulletin board. He said yes and that she had given them permission to use it as an example.

Nice.

Justin: Photographer Extraordinaire

As I mentioned a few weeks back, my buddies Alan and Justin were here for a visit. While here, Justin took over 800 photos with his Nikon. It was great to see what he was able to see through the lens. He captured expressions of our children. He presented us with textures we daily walk by in Tactic. He gave us some sensational photographs that we could print and frame!

Check out a small selection of the photographs here and read an account of his trip here and see large versions of the photos on flickr. Amber is going to publish a blog commenting on these pictures too.



Super pics dude.

Freakadelique Friday

I got pulled over in Guatemala City for talking on my cell phone while driving. The policeman told me it was "contra la ley" in all of Guatemala - news to me. It is a Q100 fine. After comiserating with his companeros, he let me off. I think it was the Alberta drivers permit that got me off.

Ran into several people from a Trinity Western University team that was in Tactic 3 weeks ago on four occasions as I walked through Antigua, went to the bank and sat down for some alone time in a cafe. I also run into staff and students on three other occasions today from a local Spanish school that sends teams up to Tactic twice a year.

Was awoken at midnight by some loud American girls at my hotel. They were complaining that the people here "don't even speak English."

I bought spare parts for my Swiss Army Knife at a hardware store.

The lady at the Canadian Embassy said that the photos of Acadia may not be accepted for the passport application. But it cost me Q23 less than I was originally quoted - Go Canadian dollar, Go!

I carried my iPod in my pocket all day and didn't use it once.

Got a phone call from a friend from Canada saying he was in Antigua. So was I. Spotted him briefly just before he got picked up to hike the volcano.

I cut off a hearse at the head of a funeral procession.

Cycling the Old Highway

There is a man made highway from near where I live through to Guatemala City. It is 40 kms shorter than the paved highway people take with their vehicles, but takes many hours more of travel because of sharp climbs and descents.



In the spirit of adventure, I think it would be a cool experience to travel a local portion of this highway on bicycle. We leave at 6:30 AM to beat the noon-day sun. We cycle 14 kms south of Tactic to a place called Pantin. The mist is still rising from the valley when we pull off the highway onto the old #5.



I think maybe I have over packed with water (2.6 L), but as it would happen we could have used perhaps 4 more litres. I also carry snacks, the patch kit, the human patch kit, tools, cameras, swimming trunks in case we come upon some pools, money, Swiss Army Knife, and TP.



My neighbour Walter and a visiting friend, Garth from Calgary accompany me on this trek. Early parts of the road remind me a lot of some country roads in eastern Canada, the pine trees especially. We climb steadily up for the first few kms. It is rough going due to the heavy bikes, unreliable gears, gravel/dusty road, and our combined lack of biking preparation.



After the initial climb, we descend the first of two passes. The landscape changes dramatically; there is virtually no green except the lingering pines and "mague" plants. The heat becomes intolerable and the sun climbs up over our heads.



We take a break every couple minutes, usually when we find shade, often to fix a rear wheel that keeps kicking out of position so it rubs against the frame. Going down hurts more than going up because the road is rough and we have to ride our brakes down, bruising our hands.



Though going up becomes more tedious as time wears on. We are getting dehydrated, exhausted, and hot. We have a second mountain pass before we reach our destination in Salamá.



After riding down an incredibly steep road into the Salamá valley, we arrive at a small store where we buy 3.5 L of water and some other cold drinks. We recuperate quickly and finish the last 4 kms to the city where we have a lunch at Pollo Campero.

The decision is unanimous: we take the bus back to Tactic.

Handbook

This afternoon, I completed a major project that I've been working on for several months off and on: a handbook for managing the child sponsorship project with Impact Ministries. As I will be leaving Guatemala in 3 1/2 months, I will also be leaving my duties as manager of the sponsorship program. This handbook is meant to ensure that I don't get 10 emails a day with questions about the program after I leave.

The handbook has 50 pages with 17 sections in it, complete with step-by-step procedures, policies, examples, and screen shots.

A Public Service Announcement

I drove to Lanquin today with a group of 25. When we arrived into town two young men rushed our vehicles and told us that our vans would not make it to Semuc Champey (our destination 9 kms beyond Lanquin). We should hire them to take us there. One of them jumped onto my ladder to the roof rack.

We drove a little further into town to a gas station to check our water levels and look for washrooms. The washrooms were a block away at the municipal building. I asked an official there what the deal with the road was and he said the roads were too slick if you didn't have 4X4 and that he sent some guys to the entrance of the town to tell incoming traffic that they wouldn't be able to make it.

Turns out that our vehicles would not have made it. We rode in the back of a truck that barely made it (80 minutes to drive 9 kms on the return trip). Good times.

one abused and neglected child

On Saturday, while bringing a group of 24 Canadians to meet a sponsor child in San Antonio Panec, I was invited by a woman to come pray for their family. One of the cases in the home dealt with an 8-year-old boy who has massive sores all over his bottom. I almost burst into tears when I saw the sores, they are that bad. We prayed for him, his drunken father, and his older sister who was having bad thoughts about her husband.

While praying, I decided to make him an appointment and personally take him to the best local doctor I know. A friend of Amber's had sent money to help a needy family. Last night, their project director dropped the little guy off at my house with his 13-year-old sister (one of 6 siblings he lives with). I drove them up to the clinic and went into the examining room with them.

As the doctor interviewed the boy, I learned that he isn't one of the siblings, but rather a nephew, a son of the oldest brother who works in the north of Guatemala. His aunt, the girl, explained further that his mom used to hit him a lot, lock him up in the house alone day and night, and rarely fed him (when she did, she would put hot chilis on the food). When he was a toddler, his grandmother (now his adopted mom), went to court to have the child taken away from his mom. He still looks severely malnourished, weighing only 50 lbs.

The physical exam revealed that all of his lymphnodes were badly swollen signifying that the infections from the sores had spread through much of his body. We got a prescription for meds and I drove them home.

Driving home, as I wound my car by a stray horse, drunks, people on bikes and other vehicles (with no headlights), I was reminded once again how incredibly broken these people are. This boy barely spoke a word the entire evening even though he was in pain, hungry, wearing the only set of clothes he has, itchy from all the scabies he has, tired, and perhaps a little anxious from having his first doctor's appointment. He did say "gracias" before shutting the car door at his path.

It's tough not thinking that I could adopt this boy and other children I meet with such difficult circumstances. I need to remind myself that they would be happier with their own families and that I can't adopt from Guatemala.

I have no point to this post. I was moved, that's all.