11 hours of culture shock in Miami

"Why is the garbage can so far away from the toilet?"

"Why is no one smiling?"

"Where are the little corn tortillas?"

"Oh the joy! Oh the sweet joy of washing my hands in hot water!"

"Have all the roosters died?"

"I feel really short."

"I didn't have to remind my waiter 3 times to bring my drink?"

"Why does no one say 'pase' when I say 'con permiso?'

"Where are the diesel fumes? I thought Miami was a big city."

"It's 5:30 am, why isn't there a taxi across the street honking his horn for 20 minutes?"

"Um, I just downloaded a software update of 8.3 MB in 18 seconds?"

"There's a glass in the bathroom. As if I'm going to drink from the tap!!!"

"I don't have a cell phone on my hip and no keys in my pocket. Something bad has happened."

And 7 of these 11 hours have been asleep!